


Beware (Don't Cut That Hair!)

by mouservil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, crackfic, cutting hair, don't even read it, don't take this seriously, idek, lightweight sabriel, my dad came up with this, scissors, wtf are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-25 03:21:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12027027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mouservil/pseuds/mouservil
Summary: Dean tries to cut Sam's hair and it doesn't go well.





	Beware (Don't Cut That Hair!)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the storyline, my dad came up with it all on his own. I just wrote it. You're welcome.

Laying there, all shiny and proud on the bathroom counter, were those godforsaken scissors. Those same scissors that tried to kill him earlier that week and no, he’s not crazy, it really did happen. The scissors actually tried to freaking kill him.

The light reflected off the blade, hitting Dean right in the eyes, probably trying to blind him. Already he had a cut on his cheek and ear from the earlier attempts, but the older Winchester was relentless. He was not going to let a pair of possessed scissors take him down. Not after surviving so many other dangerous monsters.

Cautiously, he crossed the line that separated the bathroom from the hallway. He wasn’t even sure how the light had flickered on by itself, because he certainly hadn’t been in there all day and he knew Sam would never just leave a light on. Something about saving up electricity or some shit like that. And he didn’t even want to think about the image of Cas anywhere near the bathroom, because then his mind went to Cas showering and, even worse, Cas singing in the shower as he covered himself in body soap.

With a frown, Dean snatched the scissors up and held it firmly between both hands.

“We’re going to try this again,” he told it. Then, slowly, he turned to leave the room.

After walking down the hallway for a while, without the scissors doing anything harmful, Dean loosened his grip and opted to hold them with one hand instead of two like some scared baby.

He stopped walking in front of the door that opened up into Sam’s room. Gripping the scissors tightly, he tried to sneak inside of the bedroom without causing too much disturbance. Sam was asleep on the bed, a massive lump under sheets and blankets. Dean tiptoed over to the bed, carefully pulling the covers down so that he could better see his brother’s entire head.

Dean took a lock of Sam’s hair in his hand. He brought the scissors up.

The scissors flew out of his hand to stab Dean’s forearm.

“Son of a bitch!” he shouted, ripping the blade out of his flesh and throwing the scissors to the floor. By the time he looked up, Sam was already out of his bed, tired but alert. “See?!” he shouted, showing his arm to Sam. “It attacked me!”

Sam furrowed his eyebrows, looking from Dean’s eyes to his arm and then back to his brother’s face. “Did you try to cut my hair in my sleep again?”

“That’s not the point, Sammy! The scissors are possessed!”

“Dean.”

“Don’t look at me like I’m crazy,” Dean said, pointing a bloody finger in Sam’s face. “I did not just stab myself to prove a point.” He turned back to the scissors, scooped them up from the floor, and then went over to his brother. “Watch,” he said, taking some of Sam’s hair.

“Dude, don’t do that,” Sam said, jerking back. “I like my hair.”

“These things” - he lifted the scissors - “wouldn’t have let me anyway!”

Suddenly Cas was there. “Dean, you’re bleeding.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“Let me help you.” He reached out, touching the wound with a warm finger, and suddenly he was healed again. “Did you purposely hurt yourself?”

“He thinks the scissors are possessed,” Sam said.

Castiel squinted at him.

“They are!” Dean shouted.

“That isn’t possible,” Castiel said. He disappeared, quite done with this conversation.

Dean looked back at Sam. As fast as he could he snipped part of Sam’s hair before he had time to react.

“Wha- dude!” Sam shouted, pissed.

The scissors were even more mad.

Swiftly they started cutting off all of Dean’s hair.

“Stop!” Dean shouted, trying to punch the scissors in its nonexistent face.

“How is that even possible?” Sam asked.

Laughter started to fill the room, and just as Dean was about to grab the goddamn scissors, they fell to the ground. With a flutter of a wings, an angel appeared on the moose’s back with his arms wrapped around his neck and his legs around his waist.

Shocked, Sam jumped and craned his neck to look at the Trickster. “Gabriel?”

Dean was too busy looking into the mirror, horrified by his reflection.

“No one cuts my baby’s hair,” Gabriel said, rubbing his cheek against the side of Sam’s head.

“I thought you…” Sam trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“Died?” Gabriel said for him. “Yeah, well, you haven’t lived until you die once in this show.” He winked at the camera.

“You son of a bitch!” Dean was finally back in reality.


End file.
